Valentines

what are some good valentines day jokes?

geraldo opening the "valentines day massacre" empty vault?

Public Comments

1. I'm sending out some cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
2. nock nock whos there im so sorry but i love you ok love ya
3. A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, But we don't know anything about each other. He said, That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along. So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, That was incredible! He said, I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along. So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath. He said, That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer? No. she said, I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.
4. SEX AFTER DEATH A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, "Judy ..Judy... "Is that you, Steve?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again." "Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!" "Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."