Valentines

two funny valentines day jokes?

1)roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo, dont be sad, dont be blue, frankenstein was ugly too 2) roses are red, violets are blue you look like a monkey and you smell like one too

Public Comments

1. you won't be gettin any romance with those jokes!!
2. tee hee, tell ur mother these.
3. lol i love it
4. hahaha i love your jokes:)
5. ahaha the first one's my favorite!
6. that is so cute...heres some more cute ones so theres this doctor that did circumcisions.After many years he decides its time to retire.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets. He says to his friend"wallets!? Is that all i get after all these years!?" His friend says"Relax my friend.You see its not just ordinary wallets. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set." a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady.he says to her boy u have a big a$$...she goes...why you.....and starts smacking him around.he goes in the mens room...fixes him self up....combs/fixes his hair.....straightens out his glasses...puts his teeth back in etc. He goes back and sits beside the same lady.He says to her....boy u got small boobs.....she says do i really...hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger.She says how. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off....take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs...she says omg...do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it...it worked on your big a$$ didnt it..... this guy tells the bartender"see that douche bag over there sitting by herself...send her a drink and say its from me"..The bartender says to him"hey...if u wanna buy that lady a drink,show respect...thats no way to talk to a lady". The guy says"I dont care what you say...send the douche bag a drink."So the bartender says"nevermind im not gonna agrue with you." So the bartender goes up to the lady and says"See that guy sitting over there,he wants to buy you a drink.What kind of drink would you like?" So the lady says to the bartender"Sure ill have a vinegar and water,please and thanks." The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He seems to be doing ok now..... I guess." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy?? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not?? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!....."